A privilege, I know but one I have to pay back. My parents arranged a “soft loan” from an extended family member. I had an en suite room, and didn’t have to share a dorm.
I was desperate, so I chose a small facility at the bottom end of the scale, at £13,000. Running through my options, she said it would cost between £10,000 and £28,000 for a month’s stay. Encouraged by my despairing family, I picked up the phone.Ī woman answered. When someone finally suggested I might go to the Priory rehab clinic, I was all ears. This triggered a return to using crystal meth as an analgesic, and bouts of severe paranoia. I tried to detox at home, but found myself sobbing, feeling as if I was falling apart. I was dependent on Valium it helped me carry on functioning, at least for a while. Before long, I was in the car outside the local drug recovery service, curled up in a ball, my face pressed against the window. Now, aged 29, I had made a decision to move back in with my family – temporarily, I assured myself – in order to clean up. What started off as a bit of misguided fun very quickly got out of hand. It has ripped through the gay scene, where it is used in conjunction with sex, in an epidemic known as “ chemsex”. Now I was told the root of my problems was my own moral failingsīut crystal meth was to prove my nemesis. I had started drinking, then taking recreational drugs with friends to numb the pain I felt as my parents went through a divorce, and the confusion I experienced around being gay. Signed off work, with my hand in a cast, and tending to a set of difficult emotions, I turned to a coping mechanism I had discovered when I was 15. There was a painful breakup, a redundancy. The events that led me to rehab are hazy. My life had fallen apart so dramatically over the course of the previous year that I was in desperate need of any solution. 33) It’s important for newcomers as well as old-timers like myself not just talk about how great A.A.On check-in, I was told I have a disease that’s progressive, fatal and incurable, and that I have a one in three chance of dying from it. One who has not yet had time to get acquainted with A.A., he or she will find in me an understanding friend if only I am willing to be such for it was by some such friendship that we were led into this fellowship away from our obsession with alcohol.” I must examine myself whenever I meet a new member and make sure that my attitude toward him is one of simplicity, humility and generosity. The newcomer to the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is a special person. When I come into contact with a newcomer, do my thoughts turn immediately to how many people are drinking alcohol and doing drugs?Īm I comparing them with friends in Alcoholics Anonymous that they may have made before coming here or giving advice on what direction their life should take based off of these comparisons.ĭo not forget also if you already knew this person well enough then think about whether there is any sort Arian feeling towards him/her where it seems like all happiness comes only from being better than others (or at least knowing more). Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. This blog post will explore how blogging can help an alchoholic stay focused on their goals of being sober and healthy without giving up all the fun things they love about living. More recently, however, I have found that blogging has helped me stay focused on what’s important in my sobriety and given me a way to share those thoughts with others who may be going through similar struggles. In the past this has been challenging because I’ve found that life is more interesting when you’re drinking. As a recovering alcoholic, I’m always looking for ways to make my sobriety as productive as possible.
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